A Memoir of Cloud Nine (1969)

Right before winter break my junior year of college the girl I had been hooking up with for a month decided to end things. It wasn’t a huge surprise, as she had begun avoiding me slightly a week or so before that. She also sent me a text message that said: We need to talk. I showed the message to all of my housemates and none of them seemed to surprised either. Just to make sure we were all reading it correctly I checked my horoscope on yahoo (I did this before embarking on anything potentially major): There is the potential for change in your life. It was as negatively ambigious as ever.

I met her in the entrance to her dorm, and suggested we go to the basement to talk. I nodded my consent, and felt sick to my stomach. Not only was the break up inevitable at that point, but I had seen a bat in that basement a few months before, and I was grossed out. We sat beside the laundry room. In the most uncomfortable, worn out chairs I’ve ever seen. I also swore there were bats watching from the pipes overhead.

I’ll spare the details of the break up– mostly because I ended up sounding like a blabbering sentimental idiot, and I like being suave in my anecdotes. The details are unimportant– what is important is that a) she shattered my self esteem, b) I made a fool of myself, and c) it took an hour and a half. As I left, I found out that a major thunderstorm had appeared, and I made my way to my good friends Zach and Jesse, who were waiting with our friend Jimmy Beam.

I spent the rest of the semester, about two weeks, alternating between being brown-out drunk (the worst kind, really) and being the absolute biggest downer in the world. I was in such bad shape that I thought it was a good idea to give her a mix tape expressing my feelings. It included a song I wrote for her… on ukulele… recorded in GarageBand. It is absolutely the worst mixtape I have ever given anyone. Right after I gave her the tape I hopped a shuttle to the trainstation, and began the 17 hour trainride home.

When I got home I proceeded to watch approximately 387,098,231 romantic comedies. On the 387,098,231st movie I realized maybe I should leave the couch. Instead of doing something constructive, like writing a prize-winning play or eating, I decided to comb through my parents’ record collection. I listened to some Earth, Wind, and Fire, as well as some Luther Vandross before I found the gem of that winter break. A copy of Cloud Nine by The Temptations.

I listened to the whole thing. The sky opened up, and God literally told me that this album existed only for this exact moment. So of course I listened again. And again. And again. Then I smoked a cigarette, drank some instant coffee, and popped some vicodin (it was lunch time, you see). Then I listened to it again, but only Side 2.

Side 1 of Cloud Nine isn’t horrible. It’s just not the same as Side 2, because 1 is basically a collection of singles. Side 1 is happy, and joyful in comparison to Side 2.

Side 2 of Cloud Nine has 7 fantastic tracks that are all about forlorn, recently-unrequited love. It’d be more useful if I give a general outline of each of them.

Love is a Hurtin’ Thing: This track manages to talk about how similar love is to heroin addiction. Boy meets girl. Boy injects girl into veins. Boy is only happy when girl is around.

Hey Girl (I like Your Style): Not a pick up song. Surprisingly. This is about the “girl” leaving. Really this song is a continuation of Love is a Hurtin’ Thing. Basically we all have to go through withdrawal. Not making out for a few weeks isn’t going to kill anyone. Begging someone not to leave is pathetic really. “Oh, god. I can’t believe I gave her that mixtape.”

Why Did She Have To Leave Me (Why Did She Have To Leave): She took the best of him. Like she took the best of me. This song is about letting the whole world know that you are sad, and don’t know why she left you. Maybe because there were some dependency issues, but you never notice them when their yours.

I Need Your Lovin’: Relapse. This is the point where after 2 years of AA you get wasted. People get along just fine without lovin.’ I, however, was convinced that I couldn’t live without someone to dry hump on my couch (we never did fuck).

Don’t Let Him Take Your Love From Me: I was convinced that there was another guy. I don’t know if she ever did. I could just feel it, and she never did agree to monamory. As embarassing as it is, I saw her at a party months later with some guys arm around her, and was pissed even then. Mostly because I think I’m better looking, but also because I became convinced that she chose him over me, but who knows. At this point it doesn’t really matter that much.

I Gotta Find A Way (To Get You Back): This is always the most embarassing moment in someone’s life. When they’re convinced that they can win someone back. I thought if I became wittier, smarter, less of an alcoholic, she would come back. Turns out I was wrong– though maybe I didn’t become any of those things in actuality. I at least thought I did. Turned out she really no longer had an interest, because she basically didn’t speak to me for 3 months.

Gonna Keep On Tryin’ Till I Win Your Love: This is where I split off from The Temptations. Did I still think she was heavenly, and all that jazz? Well, gee willikers, of course I did. She was tall, blonde, and skinny– looked like a model. And liked the same things I did. I would hook up with her even now. Will I ever. No. Because when it comes down to it I’ve moved on, plus I’d like to turn her down sometime.

I asked my mother if I could steal this record and bring it up with me. She said no. Eventually I got the cd, but it wasn’t the same. Some of the magic has gone missing. Or maybe it’s because I’m not utterly depressed anymore. I do have one regret from that summer, and its that I gave her a mix tape before I listened to this album. Otherwise I would have just given her Side 2 of Cloud Nine, because it would have expressed everything a hell of a lot better than me and my ukulele.